my heart hurts

tonight my heart hurts.
my teary eyes are filled to overflowing.
my heart is beating so fast, it causes my head to pound.
it shouldn't matter anymore.
it shouldn't hurt anymore.
i shouldn't care anymore.
actually, i don't know if 'care' is the right word.
because when i honestly examine my feelings, i guess i truly feel left out.
alone.
sad.
wondering what i could have done to lessen the heartache.
it's exhausting.
i'm tired of letting this bother me.
...of letting those memories flood into my mind like a rushing, icy river.
leaving me breathless, cold and saddened.
i want with everything i am, for tonight to be the last time my heart aches with this much hurt.